An Uneasy Pregnancy

From the beginning of our pregnancy, it seemed like one obstacle after another.

The morning after we discovered that we were pregnant, I took one more home pregnancy test to make sure it was positive.  Then I called the first OB doctor in our area that so many of my formerly pregnant friends had raved about.  I was nervous about finding the right doctor because of my age and because of some of the "female" problems I've had most of my adult life.

Unfortunately, that doctor was away on medical leave for several months.  So the receptionist on the phone scheduled us to see another doctor in that same office.  The first appointment wasn't for at least a month, which apparently was typical.  However, I had no idea how all of this worked.  So I said to the woman on the phone, "I'm not gonna be seen sooner?"  "No dear.  There's no need to," she replied.  I was confused.  "Well, how do I know if I'm really pregnant?"  She asked me if I had taken a home pregnancy test.  Twice, I told her.  "Well then, honey, you're pregnant!"  Okay then. 

She asked me for all the basic information about myself and informed me that I would be considered high-risk because of my age of 37.  I expected that and was somewhat relieved because I was hoping that would mean I would get a little more attention through this pregnancy.

I really didn't feel pregnant for awhile.  No nausea.  And really no other symptoms that I could tell...other than missing my "monthly visitor."  So, the first few weeks were relatively uneventful.

And then, one evening while I was at work, waiting for someone to come to my office for a rehearsal, I felt kinda weird and went to the restroom.  I was bleeding and that sent me into a panic.  When my rehearsal buddy showed up, I was a crying mess.  I told him that I thought I needed to go to the Emergency Room.  He saw what a mess I was and offered to drive me there...so off we went.  I was shaking and crying with fear.  My husband, my parents and my sister met us there.  We do everything as a family. :)

During my few hours in the ER, a technician had done a trans-vaginal ultrasound on me and the ER doctor reported that everything looked fine.  They could see the gestational sac but did not see an embryo.  The doctor said it could simply be because I'm so early in the pregnancy yet.  So I was ordered to have some blood work done over the weekend to see if my hcg levels were going up and then have another ultrasound done by my OB the following Monday.

When Monday came, Eddie and I were anxious to see what the doctor had to say.  But, unfortunately, when we arrived for the appointment, we were told that we would not be seen by the doctor.  A technician would be doing an ultrasound.  We were not happy with that, but tried to trust the staff at their word.

That first experience at the doctor's office was not a positive one for us...especially being that we were new, anxious parents anyway.  The very young girl who did the ultrasound seemed  inexperienced and nervous as she performed another trans-vaginal US on me.  It was painful and nerve-wracking as she left the room several times because she was confused by what she was seeing.  This caused our anxiety level to heighten even more and then we were sent home with only a simple "We'll have the doctor call you."

We drove the 20-minute commute home in silence and very fearful.

We got home and anxiously awaited the call from the doctor.  Four hours later, the phone rang and we were asked to come back to the office so the doctor could see us.

Another long drive...

When the doctor finally came into the room where it seemed like we were waiting forever, she told us that I have what's called a blighted ovum.

An empty sac.

No baby.

This can't be right.  But the doctor was sure of it based on the ultrasound done that morning.  "I'm so sorry," she said.  And then she went on to talk about a "simple" procedure called a D&C to "clean me out."

"No," I said.  "I don't mean to be disrespectful but we were not comfortable with the ultrasound done this morning."  We explained to her about the technician's insecure behavior.  I demanded that we have another one done by a more experienced technician.  The doctor had no problem with that and scheduled us to come back in for another one the next morning...at no charge.  And she assured us that a more experienced technician would be there.

That was a long night for us.

The next morning, Eddie had to work so my mom went with me.  This ultrasound was a very different experience.  The technician found the baby right away.  She was the size of a sweet pea. And we heard and saw the baby's heartbeat!  It was the most amazing thing I'd ever seen.  I said, "I knew it!"  And my mom and I both cried.  The technician said, "You are at 6 weeks and 2 days.  That gives you a due date of October 27th."  We were so relieved!  I was no sooner out in the parking lot that I was calling Eddie at work to tell him the good news.  He cried with relief and said, "Okay.  Time to find a new doctor."  I agreed.

After asking several friends and family members for advice on a new local doctor, we decided on one and called her office to make an appointment. The first few months went okay, although I had gone to the ER once more due to bleeding.  Again, I was discharged with no concern.  And our OB doctor was never concerned either.  At every appointment with her, she would listen to the baby's heartbeat, ask me if I was having any issues and then would say, "See you in a month."

Throughout the pregnancy, I had lost a good deal of weight.  That was from a lot of nausea in the first trimester and a careful diet due to Gestational Diabetes.  I was feeling great by the time the end of the first trimester came around.  At week 12, we saw our precious little one on the screen for the first time during an ultrasound at Magee Hospital in Pittsburgh.  She was quite active in the womb and we were delighted.  By week 14, the nausea was letting up and my energy level increased.  Everything was going okay.  It seemed like the second trimester was going to be a breeze.  Eddie and I even went away for a few days to celebrate our first anniversary.

But on the second day of our anniversary trip, I was not feeling very well.  We were at week 20 and I was feeling the baby kick for the first time.  It was exciting, but so painful at the same time.  By the time we got home that Tuesday, I almost dreaded the baby moving around because it hurt so bad...like the baby was kicking my cervix or something.  But since I had no idea what to expect, I kept telling myself that it was probably normal.

I told myself, "try to stay calm" over and over again.

The next evening after our return home, Eddie and I met my parents and my sister and a friend for dinner.  I could hardly eat.  I was feeling a lot of pain and was nauseous.  Something was wrong.  I could feel it.  I could sense it.  But I tried to ignore it.  We all went to Walmart after dinner and the more I walked around, the worse I felt.  I went to the restroom and discovered that I had passed what I believed was my mucus plug.  (Sorry for the yucky details, but as you women know, pregnancy is anything but glamorous...no matter how Hollywood tries to portray it!)  So, off to the ER (again!) we went.  Because I was so far along in the pregnancy, this time I was taken to the Labor and Delivery unit.  And once again, I was discharged with no concern.  Only that, even though I had been drinking a lot of water, I was a little dehydrated.  So I was sent home with a full bladder after drinking a ton of water.

We went for our routine 20-week appointment to our OB the next day.  She was not concerned about what had happened the previous evening and said, "That just happens sometimes.  We don't know why." I expressed my concern about the pain I was feeling in my cervical area, but she said nothing.  I asked her if we were going to have another ultrasound done in Pittsburgh and she said no.  She wanted to save the ultrasounds for later in the pregnancy.  We were quite confused by this.  Most people I knew that were pregnant had one done at the 20th week.  Plus, we were hoping to find out the gender of the baby.  Even more, I REALLY wanted to have my cervix looked at.  She sent us away thinking we were not having one done.  But when we checked out at the front desk, we were given an appointment to have one done in Weirton (our local hospital) the following week. Confusing!!

When we left her office, we were both unsettled again.  And I asked Eddie if he thought we should switch doctors again since we're so confused all the time.  Every time we left this doctor's office, we never felt like our questions were being answered and we were always unsettled and confused.  She was a woman of few words and I felt like every question we asked was answered with a blank "deer caught in headlights" look.   Not a great way to experience your first pregnancy, if you ask me.  Eddie also felt like that was what we needed to do, but we decided to give her another chance to see what happened after this next ultrasound.

Sadly, we had another awful experience with this ultrasound too.  To save time, I won't go into details, but it was a very unorganized, frustrating appointment.  We left there feeling uneasy and not confident that the staff knew what they were doing.  And to top it off, it was discovered that my cervix had begun to open.

I COULD HAVE TOLD THEM THAT A WEEK AGO!

We wished that our OB doctor would have sent us to Magee Hospital like she did the first time, but we were completely helpless at this point.

By this time, Eddie and I had had enough. However, one good thing we left the hospital with was that we were told that the baby was a girl...at least as far as the technician could tell.  Well, we needed something to be happy about at that point, so we went with it.  We even had a "Gender Reveal Party" a few days later with our family and some close friends.  We named our daughter Anna Danielle.

Our doctor had put me on bed rest until further notice.  When I talked to her on the phone three days later, she still had no plan of action:  only that she was going to call a high risk doctor in Wheeling to examine me sometime in the next week.  Why hadn't she called that doctor already?!

By the time we would see the high risk doctor, I had been feeling like something was wrong for more than two weeks now.  I just felt like I wasn't being heard.  And although the pain had subsided, now I had been passing A LOT of mucus every day for at least a week.  That just couldn't be normal.

It was time for us to move on to doctor number three.  We were so angry by this time.  But doctor number three turned out to be much better.  We should have gone there in the first place.

Doctor number three fit me into her busy schedule immediately and saw me the next morning after I called her.  She needed some time to look over my history and wanted me to come back in two days. In the meantime, she scheduled us to go see a high risk doctor the following Wednesday.

Little did we know that we would never make it that far.