Before I continue on with our story, first let me say:
1. I apologize if anyone reading this blog is uncomfortable with some of the blunt details regarding some of the physical aspects of this pregnancy. The reason I'm choosing to be graphic (as tastefully as I can) is because someone who is a first-time pregnant Mommy may be reading this and may be having similar issues. I wish I would have known what questions to ask or when to be concerned about an issue I was having when my doctor was being nonchalant about them. Unfortunately, my husband and I were helpless in our situation. Maybe this blog can help someone with similar problems know what to look for.
And 2. I am not casting blame on any doctor or facility, which is why I choose not to use their names. I am just describing our journey as it was to help readers gain a good perspective of what we went through. You just never know who it's going to help...
Okay, on with our story.
So, doctor #3 saw me again two days later after getting a chance to catch up on my history. This time, Eddie and my mom went with me. I told the doctor about the tremendous amount of mucus I was losing. She was concerned about that but said the high risk doctor we would see the following week would know more about that after doing a more thorough exam and level two ultrasound on me. She then began talking to us about the possibility of having a cerclage done on me to stitch up my cervix to keep it from opening.
Finally, someone was listening to us. We felt more at ease knowing that SOMETHING was going to be done...at last.
She then called in her partner, the other OBGYN in practice with her. And together, the five of us went into another room where both doctors were going to take a look at everything through an ultrasound.
Once she placed the wand on my belly, we saw our little girl jumping around, just like last time. It was so good to see her again. She looked so safe in there and didn't seem to have a worry in the world. That always made me feel better. All I wanted was for her to be okay.
Both doctors looked at every angle they could get to and agreed that everything looked good. When they looked at my cervix, they could not find any sign of it being opened. They said that if there was an opening, we would see a funnel-like image on the screen. We saw no such thing. They even gave me a huge glass of water to drink to fill my bladder up more to get a better view.
I drank the water. They came in about 10 minutes later.
Still no funnel.
But our baby girl looked beautiful. We even wanted to confirm that she was a girl, so the doctor moved the wand in a position that we could see her little bum. We could even see her little legs dangling!
We left the office feeling somewhat relieved, although we were still concerned about the mucus issue I was having. It was so nice to know that the doctors were listening to our concerns and were being proactive. Now we just had to wait and see what the high risk doctor would tell us in 5 days.
Doctor #3 still wanted me on bed rest...at least until we saw the high risk doctor. She didn't want me working at all and wanted me to stay at home as much as possible. She even gave me some materials to read at home about pregnancy, which included specific instructions for what level of bed rest I was directed to be on. I had never received any materials from our previous doctor. Thankfully I had books of my own to read at home. Oh, and did I mention that our last doctor never even explained to me what bed rest was? When I had asked her what that meant, she only replied that I need to keep my feet up. I asked her how long? She said that I could have them down for two hours a day.
So I went home and googled what bed rest meant.
New mom, remember?
I was very thankful when doctor #3 gave me a list of do's and don't's. The next day I barely moved from our living room recliner. But I was beginning to feel some cramping. I used my iPhone to google what contractions felt like. I came across an explanation of false labor pains, or Braxton Hicks contractions.
I decided that that's what must have been happening to me. I was only approaching our 23rd week. I couldn't be having real contractions, could I?
As the day went on, I became quite anxious about these "contractions" I was having. I called my mother-in-law and asked if she would come stay with me until Eddie got home from work. She was there within minutes. I told her that I was nervous about these pains I was having. When Eddie and I went to bed that night, we decided we would call the doctor in the morning.
However, I couldn't wait that long. Around midnight, I was still having the pains and I told Eddie that I was scared and wanted to call the doctor. So we did and she instructed me to go to the hospital...labor and delivery.
This was now emergency trip #4 to the hospital for this pregnancy.
When we got to labor and delivery, the contractions had eased up significantly. I was still having them, but they were less frequent and barely enough to be detected on the monitor they had me hooked up to. The nurse asked me what the pain level was on a scale of 1 to 10...10 being a truck running over my foot. I told her a 5.
But, again, the monitor showed nothing. "You've got me baffled, girl," the nurse said.
Go figure.
I was discharged a couple hours later with the nurses confused as to why I was even there.
But not as confused as I was.
I slept peacefully the rest of that night, with no pain at all. But the next day was a different story. By that afternoon, the pains were coming on a regular basis. By that evening, I was timing them and they were coming every 10 minutes. My parents and sister came over to bring some groceries and visit with Eddie and I for awhile. We were all worried.
After they left, Eddie and I went upstairs to get ready for bed. It was 10:00 pm and no sooner did I lay down in bed, WHAM! The pain came in one long, constant, agonizing wave. I was crying and curled up in extreme pain. I could barely get the words out:
"Eddie, please...call 911!"
I somehow managed to get out of my pj's and back into my tshirt and shorts when the ambulance showed up. That was the longest ride I've ever been on in my life. I screamed in agony all 15 miles of the drive to the hospital.
Emergency trip #5.
When they wheeled me into Labor and Delivery, I saw the familiar face of the nurse from the night before.
"It's a 10! It's a 10!" I screamed.
She knew exactly what I was referring to. The nurse sympathetically said, "Okay honey, hang on. We'll give you something for that pain very soon."
The next thing I knew, someone was checking my cervix.
"3 centimeters" was all I heard.
"What?! No! It's too soon!" I cried out. "Can't you give me something to stop it?! I read that you can give me something to stop labor!"
The nurse looked at me sadly and shook her head. "Hold on honey, your doctor is here."
The pain had stopped, but my panic was overwhelming. Then my doctor was standing at the foot of the bed. "There's nothing we can do, Carrie. I'm sorry."
All I could do was look at my mom, who had gotten there as quickly as she could after Eddie had called her. She said, "I think we need to go to Pittsburgh."
I looked at Eddie and he nodded with tears in his eyes.
I looked at my doctor. She said, "They won't be able to do anything there either." I closed my eyes and said, "I want to go to Pittsburgh."
The next ambulance ride was a very different one.
No pain.
No crying.
Just silence.
All I could think of as I stared at the bright ceiling of the inside of the ambulance was that it was very possible that the next time I go home, it could be without my baby.
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